Mel's Journey

One of the things that I’ve really struggled with in my life, especially the last few years has been anxiety (this goes along with that thing I mentioned about wanting to please people). I sometimes will struggle with fixating with oh no that person’s mad at me, or I really messed up today, or did I forget to do something important (like turn off my under the desk heater) before I left work today. It has been bad enough at times in the past that these thoughts would prevent me from sleeping.

I will say first and foremost that I have not arrived at a place where I now can that all is perfect and I am never anxious. I am always a work in progress but my God’s mercy I have found something that helps me put my negative or worrying thoughts in their rightful place. These are the steps that I take.

“Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringeth into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ”.

2 Corinthians 10:5

1.) Hit the pause button and think:

• Is this statement or thought remotely true, if it is true is there anything I can do at this point to change it? If no, then go on to step 2, if yes, stop whatever I am doing and fix it (for instance if I worried that I upset someone with my actions then I can pause and write an apology letter or give them a call depending on the situation). I often (especially when it’s reflecting on an assumption of another’s emotions) have to stop myself and try to discern whether I did something that truly merits apologizing or I am thinking there feelings are hurt because of the wording of an email or text (which are basically impossible to detect tone).

“Casting all your cares upon Him; for He careth for you”.

1 Peter 5:7

2.) Pray!!! This should probably be first but I often it helps me to have thought through those first questions first. Mostly because it helps me guide my prayers and know what to pray for. But, God is always willing and waiting for us to turn towards Him in our time of need. He is willing to help bare our burdens and all we need to do is ask.

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not onto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths”

Proverbs 3:5-6

3.) Believe that God will guide me: This is the part where I have to declare “God I am giving this over to you. Help me make the right judgement in handling the situation. If I have made a mistake help me to confess and be honest about it. If I haven’t guide me in navigating the situation and help me to make the right choices.”

“Be still and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth”

Psalm 46:10

4.) Once I have prayed over the problem and have declared that it is in God’s hands then comes the best part. I begin to praise and worship God. This might mean turning on my light and reading a Psalm, expressing gratitude for what He has done, or singing a hymn of praise. Either way I am taking my focus off of my own self and problems and focusing my mind upon the great and mighty God that we serve. This reminds me that no matter what is happening around me or in my life that He is in control.

You have probably heard the old adage “an apple a day keeps the doctor away””. I recently heard a different yet similar adage “a proverb a day keeps the devil away”. While, it was said a little bit in jest the intention of the phrase is still valid. The point was an encouragement to read the Proverb that matches the date. So on June 5th you would read Proverbs 5. For most months it works out great because there are 31 chapters in Proverbs (and on the shorter months you would just read the 30th and 31st).

This is not the first time that I have heard this advice given. In fact, I started doing this back in February. So, I have read through Proverbs 3 (and by the time you’ve read this 4) times this year. Proverbs is an incredible book from which you can glean something new each time you read it (can’t you do this with every book in the Bible though).

In case you are not familiar, Proverbs is a somewhat unique book in the Bible. There is no story or plot line to follow and truthfully there is not even a cast. It is a book filled with pieces of wisdom from Solomon (the wisest man who ever lived) written down to be shared with his son. For the most part each verse is a unique piece of wisdom, although there are exceptions. Here are a few miscellaneous Proverbs:

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart: and lean not unto thine own understanding”

Proverbs 3:5

“In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin; but he that refraineth his lips is wise”

Proverbs 10:19

“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed”.

Proverbs 13:20

“The sluggard will not plow by reason of the cold: therefore he shall beg in harvest, and have nothing”.

Proverbs 20:4

These Proverbs are given directly to individuals to encourage us to do what is wise and to first and foremost turn to God as our source of wisdom. I hope that you will spend some time in the book of Proverbs and gleam some wisdom written down under the guidance of the Holy Spirit for us today.

This year I have set a goal of reading 52 non-fiction books. These last two weeks I have been giving lots of tests where I work so I have had a lot of time to read and have made a pretty good dent in that goal (I’m on book 7 for the month of May). At the same time it never ceases to amaze me when you randomly book several books and a theme emerges among them.

Three of my most recent reads that end up with a similar message coming through them are:

Tortured for Christ by Richard Wurmbrand

Stand Strong America by Jason Jimenez and Alex McFarland

Radical Integrity: The Story of Dietrich Bonhoeffer by Michael Van Dyke

If you aren’t familiar with Richard Wumbrand and Dietrich Bonhoeffer, I encourage you to go and study their lives. Both were committed men of God who gave their lives living out His word. Wurmbrand is a Romanian Christian who took a stand against Communism, beginning in the 1960’s and the founder of Voice of the Martyrs. Dietrich Bonhoeffer is a German Lutheran Minister who was ultimately executed in a German prison right before World War II ended as a traitor opposed to Nazi Germany.

Each of these books have different focuses. While Wurmbrand’s book and Van Dyke’s books are an autobiography and biography, Jimenez and McFarland’s book is a history lesson steeped with warnings about how America is straying from and attempting to “white-wash” it’s Christian past. But, as I read all three of these books I felt a warning being issued among their pages to the Christian church in America today.

There are many Americans and churches that like the values and ideas promoted in socialism and communism, however, they fail to see the complete incompatibility between Communism and Christianity. Christianity says that you are to obey the state and it’s leaders but ultimately your obedience and loyalty are owed to God above all else. Communism would agree but would say that the state essentially is God.

Both the uprising of Nazi Germany and Communism in the USSR and Eastern Europe were preceded by a period of economic and political defeat. These defeats created a vacuum in which charismatic leaders were able to rise up and rally their nations to rise up and become strong. The Nazi’s chose to seek to do this by finding a scapegoat: the Jewish people.

The saddest part is that in both these countries the official church went along with it and the churches outside of the country did not believe anything bad was happening until it was too late. In some ways they even propagated, and helped spread the anti-truth message of their governments.

The church should always stand firm as a bastion of God’s truth based on the Bible. It should never be willing to promote and agree with a corrupt government that is trying to either misuse the Bible or destroy it completely. It would be better for all the churches to officially close their doors than to allow themselves to be used as puppets of a corrupt government. I hope that we, Christians, in the United States don’t ever have to live out that reality. Unfortunately, at this time there are believers around the world in that boat. If they don’t agree to teach only government approved teachings then their doors will be closed or they will be taken out of the pulpit. They then must meet in secret to discuss the truths found in the Word and are no longer able to provide for their families (or in some cases disappear completely).

Let us in America stand up for our rights, oppose laws that prohibit us from sharing and speaking the gospel, and desire for our nation to once again become a nation under God. At the same time let us pray and support those believers around the World who do not have the freedoms that we have and that do not have access to the Bible. Let us help gain them access to the Word of God and proclaim His glorious grace.

I don’t know about you but it has always struck me as odd that people in our culture have a challenging time understanding a Christian’s willingness to not participate in certain activities or do certain things. For instance if you say that you don’t believe in pre-marital sex or getting drunk then you are considered as weird and missing out on fun things. The idea of self-sacrifice or being willing to give up pleasurable things in the service of one that you love is a hard concept for non-believers to understand these days. I ran across an article this week that brought clarity to just how true that statement is and somewhat surprisingly it wasn’t an article dealing with religion at all. 

The article was a summation of all the “rights” that Meghan Markle had to give up in marrying Prince Harry. These rights included things such as:

The right to have social media.

The right to wear fur.

The right to take selfies with fan.

The right to wear pants, bear cleavage, and have bare legs in public.

The right to have her home in Canada.

Um…I don’t know about you but all of those things seem to be pretty minor things* to give up in exchange for getting to spend the rest of your life with the one that you love. The author seemed a bit baffled about how much Meghan was willing to give up in order to proceed with the marriage. But, I am sure that getting to wake up next to her husband and now her new born son makes not having an instagram a lot easier to swallow. 

And this where the comparison to our faith comes into the picture. As believers, Christ is supposed to be our first and greatest love. We should be willing to live in sacrifice and service to Him at all times. If His word guides us into not condoning or participating in certain activities in exchange for pleasing and obeying Him then it’s not a hard decision to make (usually and especially when we are walking in the Spirit). As Paul says in Philippians 3:8 : 

“Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ.”

Furthermore when we are acting out of obedience to Christ, even when it’s hard, we don’t suffer in misery for not participating in activities. Instead, when we chose to take our delight in the Lord (and things of the Lord) rather than things of the world we find a joy and peace that is almost impossible to explain.

In my own life, this is something that  I struggled with  in college because I grew up believing that drinking alcohol was a sin but when I got to college and was surrounded by ample opportunities to indulge I did not stand my ground.  I gave in and made choices that I look back now and have no idea why I chose to be disobedient because if I am being honest, I knew that it was wrong. Thankfully, God is gracious when we repent of our choices and He is willing and able to forgive. 

But, my point is if the world has a hard time understanding being willing to make sacrifices, of things like social media and wearing fur, then how can we expect them to truly understand our willingness as believers to embrace and sacrifice things in service to God. Despite what the world thinks, self-sacrifice in service to God or even your spouse or other loved ones is always worth it. God honors when we are obedient and submissive to His will in our lives. 

*There was one that I considered pretty serious and that was that the Queen automatically receives guardianship of all minor potential heirs to the throne so Meghan will never have legal custody of her children.

Self-care
/ˌselfˈker/
noun

the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health.
“autonomy in self-care and insulin administration”
the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.
“expressing oneself is an essential form of self-care”

dictionary.com

Self-care is one of those buzz words in our culture right now. I have to admit that is something that I have striven to practice in my own life. When researching living with Chronic Lyme self-care is one of the many pieces of advice given to prevent a flare-up. And truthfully, there is nothing wrong with the concept in and of itself. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 6 that our bodies are the temple of God and therefore we should be careful what we do for them. So no, striving to take care of our physical bodies is not a bad things.

But, what many (and I raise my hand very high as being in this group) carry this too far. We use it as an excuse to not do things that we are called to do as believers. We use this as an excuse for why we can’t serve others, why we can’t go to church (I work the other 6 days, I just need this one to myself), and why we can’t answer the phone call from the friend who always has drama going on in their life.

Sometimes our excuses and reasons for seeking self-care seem perfectly reasonable but if we really examine our hearts we discover that. For instance, there are many times when I’ve used my fatigue and pain as a reason not to go to church or to go and help someone who has asked for my help. And yes, there are many times where those are real and valid excuses. But, the tell tale sign for me is what do I turn to during those times of “rest”. Do I turn on the TV and veg for hours? Do I play games on my ipad? Or do I take the time that God has given me to rest in the bed and read His words? Do I spend time praying for others around the world? Do I watch the Sunday sermon from home? Do I read an edifying book?

Let’s be real here, the usual answer is the TV or ipad.

But God says we should be turning to Him for rest, strength, hope, and peace. He is the source of these things and when I am obedient and turn to Him rather than the world I find my soul and body refreshed:

My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in Him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.

Psalm 62:5-8

Now, let’s pause for a minute. In no way am I saying that you should not take time to exercise or take a bubble bath. I am saying that when we are tired, stressed, and overly busy we should first and foremost turn to God for our rest and peace. And when something comes up and we are tired and want to immediately say no, we should seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit. There are many times when the flesh wants to have it’s way that the Spirit wants us to instead say yes and rely on God’s strength to face the situation. Paul says:

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee; for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me”.

2 Corinthians 12:9

Recently I’ve felt God speaking to me and convicting me of not turning to Him in my moments of weakness and saying yes to those things that I feel are beyond my natural limits of energy and efforts. And, when I respond with obedience I am rewarded. By that, I don’t mean that magic money appears in my bank account or anything. But I am rewarded with strength and energy to do what He has asked me to do. I feel grateful that God worked through me to encourage and bless others and that brings joy to my heart as well.

Now, am I always perfectly obedient? No. But, I am striving to be obedient to my Savior and Lord. As I wrote in Tuesday’s post if I am saying that God is my everything then I need to live it out. I need to constantly be relying on the Spirit and the word of God to guide me in all things. Everything about my life should be a reflection of the Father’s love and that includes my “rest” and “self-care” time.

I came across two things this week which have really convicted and impacted my heart.

The first was while reading Tortured for Christ by Richard Wurmbrand. If you are not familiar, Richard and his wife, Sabrina, were both imprisoned (and tortured) in communist Romania for preaching the gospel of Christ. In this book Richard tells his own story of suffering under communism as well as the stories of many others who became martyrs for the name of Jesus Christ. This book is a challenging read for so many reasons, one of which is that it reveals how much we (in America) are so far removed from the spiritual condition of so much of the world. We have so many freedoms and we don’t always use those freedoms to serve the Lord wholeheartedly. But these people, who have no freedoms (except for their freedom in Christ) are willing to withstand anything if only to reach one soul and one heart with God’s love.

Side note: If you want to know more about what Christians are going through around the world and help with Bibles, gifts, or most importantly pray for men and woman striving daily for Christ despite persecution and the laws of their countries being against them check out
https://www.persecution.com/ which is the Voice of the Martyrs website.

The story which really impressed upon my heart is found on page 54 of my copy and reads like this:

One of our workers in the Underground Church was a young girl. The Communist police discovered that she secretly spread Gospels and taught children about Christ. They decided to arrest her. But to make the arrest as agonizing and painful as they could, they decided to delay her arrest a few weeks, until the day she was to be married. On her wedding day, the girl was dressed as a bride-the most wonderful, joyous day in a girl’s life! Suddenly, the door burst open and the secret police rushed in.

When the bride saw the secret police, she held out her arms toward them to be handcuffed. They roughly put the manacles on her wrists. She looked toward her beloved, then kissed the chains and said, “I thank my heavenly Bridegroom for this jewel He has presented to me on my marriage day. I thank Him that I am worthy to suffer for Him”. She was dragged off, with weeping Christians and a weeping Bridegroom left behind”.

Tortured for christ -Richard Wurmbrand Pg. 54

I think this speaks to me because one of my dreams in becoming a wife and mother. So to imagine looking forward to that moment of marrying the love of your life and to have it taken away in that moment I can’t even begin to imagine. And on top of that to then publicly thank God for the opportunity to be arrested (especially know the things that would likely happen in prison). I feel like I can’t even express into words how much this moved my spirit.

At the same time, this is the same response that we see the apostles demonstrating in the Word of God. Paul writes:

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us”

Romans 8:18

I absorbed that and kept reading the book than yesterday I stumbled upon this song:

This song talks about living each and every day of our life in service and obedience to God. The song talks of Jesus becoming our everything. He is worthy of so much more than we could every repay. He is the giver of all things and He calls all who claim His name to be willing to give their lives in the pursuit of sharing His love and the news of what He has done for us with the whole world!

Often times though we become caught up in our phones, cars, clothes, and all the material things we have access to around us. We can get caught up in anxiety and worry about the future. We worry about making it home in time to watch the latest episode of our favorite show so we rush past the broken and hurting people all around us in the world. Even if in the US there are more and more people growing up who don’t know or understand the gift of God that we have been given. They don’t know of Jesus and what He has done for us. They don’t understand the freedom, joy, and hope that Christ provides.

One of the things that I’ve noticed when on mission trips is when you visit other countries and meet Christians who are from countries very different than the U.S, they tend to have a love and spirit of gratitude for God. They lean on Him and truly trust in Him. They believe on Him to make provision for their needs and know that He is with them in all moments. They have a trust and faith that sometimes seems beyond our understanding.

Another side note: I am co-leading a trip with a group of high school students in June to Nicaragua-please pray that we would proclaim God’s love and grace boldly but also that our students would see the passion and love for God that the people in the church there have and return home with a growing understanding and heart for the things of God.

All that to say: I feel like I am being challenged by God to lean on Him more and more; to truly trust on Him and rely on Him in all things. To make sure that He is the center and focus of all things in my life. He cannot be my part-time Savior that I turn to when things are bad or not going well. He must be truly be my everything!

The last few weeks have been an especially deep time of relying on God and leaning into him. He has been teaching and instructing my heart so much. These are the things He has been reminding me of and revealing to me through the Word:

1.) His love, mercy, and grace. I have just really felt the weight of who I am when I am walking without Him and what He has already accomplished for me. That my sins are covered by the blood of the cross. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not His son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved”.

2.) Pursue holiness out of a heart of love toward God. 1 Peter 1:15-16 says “But as He which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, by ye holy; for I am holy”. We serve a perfect God who is in all ways righteous, just, and holy. And so as we love Him we desire to be like Him in all ways. While I know that I will never reach the sinless perfection that Christ walked in while He was on earth and I will make mistakes, my heart should be pointed towards Christ and striving to bring honor and glory to God in all things.

3.) Which brings me to number three, the beauty and joy of repentance. Repentance is when we recognize that an action of ours is sinful or wrong. We should apologize to the person we have sinned against (if it was another person) and to God. Anytime we sin we are sinning against God himself. But the beauty of repentance is expressed so much in 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins to God, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness”. When we come to God with a repentant heart, He will remind us of His love and grace. A truly repentant heart also has the desire to turn away from that sin.

4.) Placing boundaries in my life around areas that cause me to sin to help me flee from temptation. There are areas of big temptation in my life; one of them for me is romance novels and movies. These movies inspire me to day dream of a future with a husband, house, and fairy-tale life. They aren’t sinful in and of themselves but they can cause me to become discontent with my current life and the many blessings that God has given me. I also find that when I spend a lot of time just watching tv or listening to music that promotes our current cultures worldview my passion for the things of God (time in His word, time listening to preaching, and time reading about others on fire for Him). I do have to be cautious and remember that these boundaries are based on scriptural principles and have a right and good place in my life but that doesn’t mean that others are sinning if they are not living their lives according to them. 2 Timothy 2:22 says “Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart”.

5.) My focus for the month of the May is to “Rejoice in the Lord”. Just remembering that my hope and joy are found in God and not my circumstances and storms. No matter what storm or battle I am facing I can rest easy in Him. I know that “in times of trouble He hides me in His pavillion” (Psalms 27:5).

What a blessing it is to know that God loves us and desires a relationship with us. We can never earn a place at His feet but when we humble ourselves, recognize where we are in our lives, and trust in the cross and what Jesus accomplished there, we become free; free from sin and free to live for Him.

There is something awesome about picking up a book and reading that can be challenging to describe. Authors have an amazing gift of being able to transport their readers to new worlds and galaxies. They can give a face and voice to the past in a way that history books can never convey. I’ve always loved reading, in fact, my parents used to say that instead of selective hearing I had “book hearing”. Basically, if I was reading a book there was little to no point trying to talk to me. I would get so focused on the story and characters in my books that I lost pretty much all connection to the world around me. I’ve grown out of that a little as I’ve aged (and worked on it) but I still usually find it so much more intriguing to read books than to watch movies.

But, one thing I never really did as a child was read non-fiction (other than the Bible); occasionally I might pick up a biography or memoir based on a really fascinating period of history but for the most part I find myself naturally navigating to fictional accounts of people finding love or saving the world. As I near my 30’s I am realizing that a crucial part of continued “brain growth” in the post college world involves finding other ways of learning. Whether that is practicing my Spanish more, learning a new language, or picking up non-fiction books.

So, this year in mid-January/early February when I was creating my resolutions for the year (I was a little behind) I decided to set the goal to read 52 non-fiction books in 2019. I haven’t determined all the titles that I am going to read but I have amassed quite a collection from Goodwill and the .99 cent sale on christianbook.com a few weeks ago. I also have gotten a few new books that I heard about and wanted to read. I am also re-reading a few books from my bookshelf that I bought and read a few years ago and think might be relevant to my life now more so then they were when I read them the first time.

During this time of non-fiction reading so far I’ve learned a few things about myself:

1. I have to be very careful when I find myself getting upset with what I’m reading (in Christian books). I have to do an evaluation and determine is my Spirit upset because it’s not Biblical or is my flesh upset because its convicting?
2. Often when it is a convicting book I have a challenging time putting down my ipad or not find excuses of other things to do instead of read. I have to make it a pointed priority to read and get through that book.
3. I am loving the biographies and autobiographies of Christian missionaries that have made such an impact on our world. I don’t know why but I’m so drawn and inspired by these men and woman who forsook everything in following God’s call.
4. It’s really easy to just buy, buy, buy and not read what I’ve already gotten but haven’t read. I’m at a point now where I need to stop looking for the other books on my wish list and read the ones that I’ve collected from various sales and my local thrift stores.

I am excited to continue on in my non-fiction reading and see what else this year has in store for me in the books that I read. My current read is The Discipline of Grace: God’s Role and Our Role in the Pursuit of Holiness” by Jerry Bridges. I am about half way and it’s definitely been one that I’ve needed to slowly comb through as it’s got some deep truths to grasp.

I just got finished reading Shadow of the Almighty: The Life and Testament of Jim Elliot by Elisabeth Elliot (his wife). If you’re not familiar with the Elliot family you should consider reading this book as well as googling “Operation Aucas”. You will learn about Jim Elliot and his four friends who were killed in their attempts to reach the Auca tribes in Ecuador with the gospel (It’s not discussed in this book but after their deaths Elizabeth and Rachel (sister to one of the friends killed) continued their mission and many of the Auca’s have come to know Christ).

In this book you find a man so completely and set apart for God that it is hard to comprehend how the struggles of this world did not quench that fire or his thirst for God. That is really what has stuck out to me the most. This book is not just Elisabeth (Betty) talking about her late husband. She instead compiles writings from his personal journals, his letters to her over the years of their friendship, as well as letters to others. A clear pattern emerges of a man who was so committed to following God’s plan for his life that he was willing to forsake all other things including the love he felt towards her. One of the themes that becomes apparent is that Jim and Betty were in love with each other for years but both felt that God was calling them to remain single at that time. They prayed that God would make clear when and if they should pursue engagement and/or marriage. They kept their relationship as friends, communicating mostly by letter, for five years until both fully realized that God’s call to marriage for them.

Through these pages we find two people wholeheartedly seeking to live out the will of God in their lives. How rare is this in our age? How much do we seek to be relevant to the culture and fit in with those around us or what all the others in our lives expect of us rather than seeking God’s plans and purposes for us? We should not be seeking to do all the things our culture props us as the best.  A perfect life in our culture is having all the things (money, possessions, fancy homes), a romantic relationship (with committment only as long as it’s beneficial), and a false sense of independence. A life in which we spend all our time figuring out what makes us happy. That “perfect life” is so far from God’s intentions for His people.  God calls us to be set apart for His work and to live our lives according to His plans and in His timing.

“But ye are a chosen priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should show forth the praises of Him who hath called you out of darkness into His marvelous light” 1 Peter 2:9

I pray that God would move mightily in my life and that I would have the courage and boldness to live a life on fire for Him. I pray that He would help me to have patience and wait on Him rather than jumping into any endeavour believing it must be the right thing because an opprotunity has come up. I want to live in such as way that others look and see that I am not the one in control and clearly cannot be doing these things without some sort of heavenly assistance. A life that points people towards the Father. A life that reflects His plan for my life and demonstrates His grace towards us and fulfills the callings that He gives me.

I don’t know if you are familiar with this hymn but it’s a relatively simple one. It goes like this:

I have decided to follow Jesus (x3) No turning back, No turning back.

The World behind me, the Cross before me (x3) No turning back, No turning back.

Though none go with me, still I will follow (x3) No turning back, No turning back.

My cross I’ll carry, till I see Jesus (x3) No turning back, No turning back.

Will you decide now to follow Jesus (x3) No turning back, No turning back.

~I have decided to follow Jesus; written by Simon Mark based on the final words of Nokseng

I always thought this was just a cute little chorus but never really thought much about its meaning. Sometimes we sing worship and praise songs as if they are just empty words rather than focusing on their truths and as a prayer to our great God. As I was reading Living Among Lions by the Benham Brothers (see my review here) they shared a little bit about the history of this song which allowed me to see a new depth and beauty in this song.

A family in the Indian province of Assam- a husband and wife, along with their two children had professed faith in Christ and were baptized by a Welsh missionary in the 1880s. They then suffered intense persecution. The village leaders decided to make an example out of the family. Arresting them, they demanded the father renounce Christ. He responded by saying “I have decided to follow Jesus, and there is no turning back.” They then killed his two children right in front of him. He responded to their martyring with these words “The world can be behind me, but the cross is still before me”. He would not renounce his new faith. When once again he refused, they killed his wife. He then said “Though no one is here to go with me, still I follow Jesus”. The village leaders then killed him as well. …According to the Welsh missionary, when he returned to the village, a revival had broken out. Those who had murdered the family had themselves come to faith”. (Benham Brothers page 80).

How much more meaning does that song hold now? Now that I know that those are words are not petty phrases that we sing but instead are the final words of a man standing up for His Savior? It is amazing at the faith of this family and the revival that God was able to bring through His sacrifice and willingness to die rather than be ashamed of the Gospel.

Let us never be afraid to boldly stand up for our faith (clearly this is something that God is speaking to me about a lot lately) and do all that is within our power to share the news of our God and King with the world. All in the world need to experience His mercy, grace, and forgiveness.

Also, let us remember to pray for our brothers and sisters in Christ that are living in countries where they are not free to proclaim Christ’s name. Pray for those brave souls who despite threats of torture and death refuse to back down and knowing the risks choose to present the Gospel to those whose souls are weary and heavy burdened.